"In 2021, over 5.4 million people took a mental health screen, representing a nearly 500% increase over the number of people who completed a screening in 2019 and a 103% increase over 2020."
"Mental Health and COVID-19" mhanational.org
Recently, with all of the news coverage of DJ Twitch, I have been confronted with Suicide yet again. I mention this because it's not just Twitch that I am hearing about. All aspects of social media is covered in it. People on TikTok are posting videos of when they found out their loved ones passed. To show the reality of what that looks like.
As I scrolled through, I was constantly bombarded with the images of my brother. My brother fits into that category now. As I have stated before, am I noticing it now because it's a part of my story? Or is it really increasing at alarming rates. I believe it's the latter. I believe that the amount of people choosing this as a way out has risen at astronomical rates. It's frightening.
As I participate in holiday parties, I feel a sense of unease. It doesn't feel like Christmas. Have you noticed it? People all over saying that they aren't feeling the holidays this year. So many. I read it constantly and hear about it that people are just walking around in a daze. Why? What has changed this year to create such an environment of unease.
What are the three top reasons that caused people to research the web and fill out survey's for mental health? Loneliness/isolation, Past Trauma, Relationship Problems. I can definitely understand that. I'm going to define what I can imagine the three categories can cover.
Loneliness/isolation - The first thought is an agoraphobic crazy person locked in their house right? Someone who refuses to interact with others, gets their groceries delivered, and is rarely seen outside of their scary house. Is that all that loneliness and isolation cover? Not even a little bit. That can also look like someone who still interacts with others, throws on a big smile, and functions really well in public. Said person then goes home after sharing nothing about themselves, but rather helping others, and then sits alone in their living room eating a TV dinner. No one to talk to and no one reaching out. Why would we reach out. They are happy. They are so kind and so helpful, so put together and smart. Do you know someone like this? How are they doing? If you haven't asked in a while, maybe venture into their lives a bit. Find out about them and put your problems on the back burner for a blip.
Past trauma - Y'all. We all have past trauma. It just looks different on all of us. Like an outfit that we wear but hide. We don't want to share what happened when we were little. No one wants to know about that. Past trauma is never gone, I hate to say. It is with us for life. One thing I didn't realize is that the wall that I built to keep all of that "stuff" behind was weak. I thought it was a solid cement structure with a padlock on the door. What it was actually made of was weak straw where traumas sneak out at the most inopportune times. I was in Petsmart the other day with my little Olive after her visit. I went to buy some treats and I saw a man yelling at his dog. As the dog cowered, I cringed. I immediately broke out in a cold sweat and felt rage like I had never felt before. I was so upset. Ready to cry and ready to scream. I quickly purchased my items and left. I'm a protector. It's what I have always been. When I can't protect, it causes great anxiety and brings back past trauma. See.... it's like a scary movie where the black ooze starts seeping out of the room. You can't hold it in. You can get help with how to deal with it. So when it does seep out, you have the tools to work through it.
Relationships - This is always an issue. Everyone at one time or another has had an issue in a relationship. Either with a spouse, a child, mother, father, sibling.... it's never ending. How do you navigate that? How do you set up healthy boundaries while working through guilt for following said boundaries. My relationship with my brother was precious to me. As he became an adult, I noticed him pulling away from me. He belittled the books I read saying that they were immature and lacked depth. He lashed out at me on social media due to my relationship with our father (my step-dad). I didn't know where he was gaining his intel but I have a feeling I can take a good guess. To be honest, I'm not even sure what was said. How would I know, John didn't ask me about it. He accused. Eventually, we started talking again but we never addressed the past. I always had a fear you see. I loved my little brother so much and protected him as best I could. He was also someone who could tear out my heart and step on it. So during the last year of his life we talked but it was always cautious. I'm sure he noticed it. I didn't want to get hurt.
I have been seeing a lot of, "Check on your friends. Check on the healthy ones...." I challenge us all to do this instead. Pay attention. Seek out others and show them they mean something to you. When they are talking to you about something, pay attention, maintain eye contact and interact. Ask deep questions. "How are you?" Oh.... you know, I'm fine. "Just fine? How is work? How is home life? I noticed on your Facebook that this happened, are you doing ok?" Dig a bit deeper. That is how we might gain a clue that our friends are in need.
If you are feeling like life is too much, reach out. Even if you just say, "I just need you to be on the phone with me for a bit." Heavy is the phone that reaches out for help, but I know that if you do that, you bring a bit of light to a dark place. Stop hiding the dark, rather share what you are experiencing and allow them to shine a light on it.
Suicide emergency line: 988
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States. 988lifeline.org
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