One of the last texts I received from my brother is, "Any amazing music you could gift me in parting?"
This continues to come to mind when I hear something that he would love. I bring up music because as I was drinking my coffee, in my pajamas, listening to old music, I heard a song that moved me.
"I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again."
James Taylor, Fire and Rain Excerpt
As I listened to this song, it really caught me in the feels. I started to tear up. It's funny how, when life gets busy, you take for granted that a loved one will always be there.
A song will elicit feelings and can really dig into my soul and take hold. I remember when my sister was in a horrible accident. I received the call that she was being helicoptered out (I don't know how to properly spell medivaced.) As I was driving out to Kentucky, this song came on. To this day, anytime I hear that song, I remember the road we were on. The way the trees looked. The beautiful colors of Fall. I felt like I was in a bubble and nothing made sense. I had this overwhelming fear that she was going to die while I was driving. Those feelings, those traumas, they really mark your soul for the rest of your life. Anything at that moment is lodged with it. Songs, smells, feelings, landscapes.
Another example, a happier example is this one. Ken and I were driving to Kings Dominion. For those that don't know what that is, it's an amusement park located in Virginia. It was two hours from where I grew up. We hit horrible traffic in Virginia, imagine that. I remember the spot perfectly. We were on the highway and we were driving up a mountain that was curved. The traffic was at a stand still and we were both becoming more and more agitated. We decided we needed to listen to something that would lift our spirits. Ken put on the Grateful Dead. Let me tell you.... the bad mood lifted and the entire atmosphere changed. We were smiling and having a good time.... still in traffic.
I find myself recently hearing music that I think my brother would have loved. When he asked, I was completely dumbstruck. I don't know.... what's something he would love. Marcus King Band. I think he would have loved that. Billie Holiday. We both loved her. She used to play in my grandparents den. She brings a peace to any room when I hear her.
I end this blog with this song. This is for you, Brother.
Dancing in the Sky
By: Dani and Lizzy
Tell me, what does it look like in heaven? Is it peaceful? Is it free like they say? Does the sun shine bright forever? Have your fears and your pain gone away?
'Cause here on Earth it feels like everything Good is missing since you left And here on Earth, everything's different There's an emptiness
Oh-oh, I I hope you're dancing in the sky And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir And I hope the angels know what they have I'll bet it's so nice up in Heaven since you arrived
So tell me, what do you do up in Heaven? Are your days filled with love and light? Is there music? Is there art and adventure? Tell me are you happy? Are you more alive?
'Cause here on Earth it feels like everything Good is missing since you left And here on Earth everything's different There's an emptiness
Oh-oh, I I hope you're dancing in the sky And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir And I hope the angels know what they have I'll bet it's so nice up in Heaven since you arrived Since you arrived
Oh, oh (What does it look like in heaven?) Yeah, yeah Oh, oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh
Oh, oh, I
I hope you're dancing in the sky And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir And I hope the angels know what they have I'll bet it's so nice up in Heaven since you arrived Since you arrived
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