Gus... the little creature that made me love her.

Gus is a small furry creature that resembles a mouse. She, yes she (my son named her Gus prior to finding out she was a girl, he liked the name so much, it stuck), sits in my office next to my desk. Two weeks ago, I heard her anxiously running around her cage. Gus is a hamster.

I immediately went to the web and started researching hamsters. What does it mean when they are running non-stop on their little wheels. Is she sick? Is she stressed? I love animals. Mice scare the living crap out of me but this little lady has sat next to me for going on a year. I never really paid her any mind until I heard her frantic running. What could be wrong. I need to help. My innate desire to help came out in full force.

I texted Noah, "Where is Gus' ball? She is freaking out and I think she is stressed." I inundated Noah with text after text asking him about her.

..... She needs a ball, Noah...... You need to help me hold her.... I love her.....We need to make her cage bigger and give her more toys....She's stressed.....I just looked it up. She needs to have a clean cage too.... I found her ball.... She is running around now.... Will do this for her every day when I'm working....

His response, "OMG."

That night, I went in search of the dog playpen I had bought for Olive. I set it up and made an amusement park in it for little Gus. It has a roof so I put her entire cage in there with the door open. She could climb in and out of her cage and then I set up little obstacles for her to play. As the other animals stood next to it watching, Gus was living her best life. I was sitting right next to it, happy as a clam that I could give this to her.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve. I was sitting in the living room watching Polar Express, as we always do on Christmas Eve. Noah came up the stairs with a sad look on his face. "Gus is gone. She is dead." I looked over at Noah in shock, already sad thinking about my brother. Noah looked at me, knowing that little Gus had wormed her way into my heart. With disbelief, I said, "No, Noah. Please say you are kidding. Not Gus!"

"I'm sorry Mom. She isn't moving and when I open her cage, it smells." I had noticed the day prior that she wasn't running to greet me. I thought she was sleeping and I didn't want to bother her. How could God take little Gus from me on Christmas Eve? I had just gotten attached to her. I started to cry. The mixture of going into Christmas, knowing my brother was gone, and then Gus passing away, it was all too much. I know what you are thinking.... It's a freaking hamster. I'm here to say, it's not just a hamster. Gus became my friend. She gave me something to focus on. I could make a living thing happy. This was something that I could do. Something that I could control.

As I went back to sit and finish the movie, my husband came to me, "Give me a hug. I know you are sad. Think of it like this, you made the last two weeks of her life sooo fun for her."

This one is for you, Gus!