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Dear Leilani,
Hi! This is 46 year old, Leilani. I wanted to write to you to fill you in on how your life is going and to give a little reassurance.
First, Dad and Mom, I know that they have hurt you deeply and you will carry that around with you. You have started a new type of therapy, not sure if it even existed when you were 20, but it’s amazing and it’s going to help you immensely. They will continue to hurt you. Try not to let your heart get broken. You are stronger than you realize and will overcome every single time.
Your Sister and Brother. I know that Chrissy and you aren’t close right now. Just wait! You two are going to be so close you would never believe it. You both have gone through so much and that strength that you both gained as children is going to increase exponentially. Be patient. Don’t pray for patience because God will give you experiences that require you to gain patience. Just trust me. You Brother…. I’m sorry. He is no longer with us. Something horrible is going to happen. I know you have always thought it might, but it does come to fruition. Just know, He is always with you even in death and he will always love you as you have loved him.
You will get married, as I’m sure you already know. You both are going to go through many ups and downs. Just remember your promise, no divorce. Don’t even say the word. There will come a time when you think that separating would be the best option, spoiler alert, Ken won’t let you. Not physically, he will just fight to save your marriage. Try and meet him in the middle and forgiveness is key!
Children are in your future! The way that you are blessed with them is not how you imagined it as a child. Your son will have many complications during childbirth but be reassured that he comes through and he is amazing. Your daughter is a gift from God and you will gain her through adoption. I know, not something you have ever thought about but God is good and He is always planning the best possible outcome for us. She will be your friend and you both will love each other more than words.
Don’t worry about finances. I know it’s difficult right now and Ramen is getting really old. Just keep plugging away and trust God and the process. Rome wasn’t built in a day and so long as you do your best, you will be rewarded. We aren’t living in a mansion but we have a beautiful home and a couple years ago, we got an inground pool!!! So exciting, I know. Being an adult is difficult but with you and Ken, you manage, and in so doing have a beautiful family.
You will eventually get the English Bulldog that you have always wanted. Her name will be Erma. Love her but not too much because apparently you are deathly allergic. I know, ironic in the worst way.
Gotta run! I have work. I will write again with updates. Love yourself, and know…. YOU ARE LOVABLE.
You old self,
Leilani
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